'God' Bless America...

...à la française.

First, a short excerpt from A Year in the Merde by Stephen Clarke.

Bernard smile nervously and began.

"Yam Bare narr, yam responsa bull ov communikasyon, er..."

Shit, I thought, didn't Jean-Marie say the meeting was going to be in English? How come some people were allowed to speak Hungarian?

Bernard of Budapest carried on in the same incomprehensible vein for a couple of minutes and then started to enunciate something which, to judge by the look of acute constipation on his face, was of great importance. "Alok for wah toowa king wizioo".

Hang on, I thought. I don't speak any Central European languages, but I got that. He's looking forward to working with me. Holy Babel fish. It's English, Jim, but not as we know it.

Even if they won't forthrightly admit it, the French love America. More truthfully, the French love their idea of America--an idea that has grown from caricature, to parody, to (in keeping with the Star Trek metaphors) full blown alternate universe. It's American culture, Jim, but not as we know it!

There are a number of second-hand (second-'and) stores that specialize in "American" apparel. They sell overpriced cowboy boots,

junk in general,

and Levis (Lee-vise). That is to say, 90-EURO LEVIS. How much did you pay for your last pair?

"Le Coyote Burgers"

"Service Non-Stop"

Non-Stop Service

This "Native American" musical group is actually from Spain.

America is fashionable.

"La French Manucure"

French marketing of the American interpretation of the French style.

Over-Compensation

Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses... and Rock On!!!

'God' Bless America!!!

Barcelona

For winter vacation, I traveled to Barcelona with my friends Joshua, Destin, and Maria. If it seemed that we were unprepared to travel in Spain the last time, we were even more discombobulated this time. We booked our train and hostel a mere two hours before setting off. Despite the fact that we traveled to Barcelona on a whim, we had a very enjoyable vacation.

Catedral de Barcelona

We climbed to the top of a giant hill overlooking the city. There was a rather disappointing fortress on the top.

Next to the moat were more modern forms of defense.

Gaudi's Park Guell

Gaudi's Sagrada Familia

Guadi's Hospital de Saint Pau

Despite the apparent serenity of these photos, our stay in Barcelona was also slightly stressful. Joshua and Destin were chased by pickpockets on our first night. After that, everyone was more on guard.

Our hostel was right next to an amazing market. Again, I used my impressive Spanish skills to point at various food stuffs and say "Uno, por favor."

Ewww.

The string cheese is alive!

Ewww

Destin and I bought, tortured, killed, and ate a giant crab. The torturing was unintentional.

I don't have pictures, but I also went to the Picasso museum. There, Picasso's work is displayed chronologically, explaining how he developed his unique style.

Photos coming soon from France!

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